The last week

I cannot believe this is my last week in Turku, but at least I am having a wonderful time.
It started on Tuesday, when I got a lovely surprise in the evening. I was sitting outside a bar having a drink with Emmi, we were chatting normally, and she suddenly told me not to scream. I didn't understand what she meant, she looked away, and when I looked in the same direction my boyfriend was there walking towards us! He was meant to arrive on Wednesday morning but he decided to secretly come early, and Emmi was enlisted to get me in the right place at the right time. I was laughing hysterically for about 20 minutes! It was brilliant.
The next day I decided I'd like to have a long walk around the city to see some places that have been special to me. My boyfriend isn't very familiar with Turku so we both enjoyed it, and we walked for a couple of hours. We visited a couple of parks which I've spent time in, including one with views of all of Turku. I've written about going there several times, and it's a place I'm very fond of. We also walked past the house I lived in when I first came here, and alongside the river. As I was pointing things out to him I realised how many important places there are for me here, and how much I've done. It was a really nice thing to do whilst I still can.
We didn't do so much yesterday, except go shopping with Emmi, but tonight I'm having a leaving party. I hope I can see many of my friends over the weekend, and I'm looking forward to it.
I'm still sad to be going, and it hasn't quite sunk in yet, but there are a few positives. New people have moved into my house this week and it doesn't feel the same. One of my flatmates agreed, and she now wants to move out too. I don't mind leaving the house now. More and more i'm looking forward to getting back to my education; I'm definitely ready when it comes to that. I'm glad I have something to keep me busy in the coming year.
This might be the last entry I write whilst in Finland. When I get to England I will write something to try to sum up my feelings and experiences, and get started on a professional blog about my art practice. I hope my readers will take an interest in that too, as I'm planning to make work about people I know in Turku. I've decided that the Frozen in Finland Facebook page will remain, and contain more updates about the artwork. Hopefully no one will lose interest. Who knows, maybe when I come back here I'll resurrect this blog.

Moomin museum and other recent exploits

I've just come home from spending a few days visiting my boyfriend in Tampere. I had a nice time, but the greatest thing about my trip was that he took me to the Moomin Museum! He has just qualified as the world's best boyfriend.
We were very lucky - we turned up about 20 minutes before it was due to close, so the lady working there said we could go in without paying! We still managed to see most of the exhibits. It was lovely; I got to see some of Tove Jansson's original drawings. That was very interesting for me, not only due to the art side, but because I was raised on the Japanese Moomins cartoon on tv, and the style of that is very different to the original books. The originals are sometimes much darker and moodier. There were other items too, such as Moomins books in various languages and set-up scenes with the characters. I would really recommend the museum, especially to tourists, and I think it appeals to both adults and children.
We also went to some small, commercial art galleries, and saw some interesting pieces. Not all of the work was Finnish, but it was good to see. Aside from that we visited some parks and the Pyynikki area, where there's a beautiful forest and beach. Tampere seems to have a lot of lovely, natural areas, more than in the centre of Turku, even though there are plenty of parks here too.
Someone mentioned that Turku has a different atmosphere to many other places in this country, and having spent more time away from Turku I'm inclined to agree. At least during the summer it seems to be extremely lively - I've noticed so many street performers and music. I appreciate that, having a creative mindset, but I also really like Tampere. It seems a bit calmer than Turku. Maybe I'll even end up living there one day, but I'll see what happens. I find Finland as a whole appealing, and I'd still like to see more of it.
Aside from that, my suitcase has now been collected by the courier and will be off to England soon. It was very sad to start packing my life up and taking everything away, but it had to happen.
I'd also like to say now how grateful I am for all the lovely messages I've received recently wishing me luck for my return to England and complimenting me on my writing. I'm very appreciative, and don't worry, I'm still here for two weeks. After that we'll just have to wait and see...

Went to Tampere

I went to Tampere yesterday, which was lovely. I saw this church from the train, and wondered if I'd accidentally gone to St Petersburg. Oddly I didn't take many photos.
Tampere was very nice, and I thought it looked rather like Oslo, or at least the part of Oslo that I saw when I was there. There's a flower festival going on there at the moment, so there were lots of plants everywhere, which made it look beautiful. I liked Tampere better than Oslo, and it had a lot more interesting stuff there. Although it was nice, I still like Turku more. Turku gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. I won't be running away to live in Tampere just yet.
Mainly we wandered around the streets, so I got a good feel for the place. We went on a big wheel in the kauppatori, but unfortunately phones/cameras were not permitted so I couldn't take any pictures of the lovely view.
I was told that every year students from Tampere go to Turku with shovels in an attempt to detach us from the rest of Finland. Disgraceful! Why would they want to get rid of the best part of this country?
We also went to a very nice park just outside of the center, where there was a beautiful lake, and some sort of botanical garden. It wasn't too busy; very peaceful and quiet.
For once my travel plans did not turn into a disaster. On the way home I was talking to a very nice man, who dragged me onto the platform for a cigarette when the train stopped somewhere. I forgot that smoking on railway platforms is still allowed in this country. The conductor was a very nice lady, who didn't mind at all, and even came to let us know when we needed to get back onto the train. Excellent. The journey between the two places doesn't even take that long, so it all went well.
I'm very happy that I went there, as I had a very nice day. It's a good thing for me to see some new places in this country before I leave. This was totally worth spending all my money.

My birthday and Botellon

It was my birthday on Saturday! Woo! The picture is of the delicious cake that my flatmate Iida made as a present for me. She made it a week early, so obviously it's gone now. It was very kind of her, and tasted wonderful.
Luckily the weather was quite decent on my birthday, so my friends and I went to Botellon, a huge drinking party in Kupittaa park. It originates from a Spanish thing where young people decided that bars were too expensive, so they made their environment a bar, and just drank in public. In Turku it's now an annual event. We went there in the evening, and like a genius, I'd been drinking all day so I fell asleep in the middle of the park quite early. The less said about that the better, but I understand I'm not the only one. One of my friends kindly half dragged, half carried me back home at midnight. Yesterday I was rather hungover, what a surprise.
Apart from that, I had a really good day, and lots of my friends came to see me, which was really nice. I'm very glad that I've met so many people here who care enough to turn up. It makes me feel loved. There were a lot of people in the park, even more than I expected, although I knew it was a big event. It was really busy and there seemed to be a nice atmosphere. I'm very happy with how everything turned out, because I spent lots of time with my friends and had fun, which is what really matters. It was a really good weekend. The hangover was totally worth it.
Next weekend should also be exciting, as on Sunday I'm going to Tampere for the day to visit someone. I've never been there before, so I'm looking forward to seeing a new part of Finland.

Pirate hippies and music in the park

This weekend has been amazing! The weather has suddenly become very sunny and warm, with no clouds in the sky, and it's so lovely. It's like Turku has suddenly burst into life, and it's wonderful.
Yesterday we went back to the hippy culture house for the evening, and it was so relaxing to sit in the sun in the garden. This time we decided to be super cool...and make pasta salad! We were well-prepared, but it seems the organisers had found some more food to go with their bread. Very good. We might be going back tonight too, it's become a bit addictive. The atmosphere is so nice, and it's perfect for a sunny day.
Today I decided to go to the park to sketch - certainly didn't want to waste such a beautiful day at home, and I think another building in the park has been taken over. They put a black flag outside when they've claimed a building, and there was one in the park, plus a very good band playing in there for a couple of hours. I didn't go inside, but it was very pleasant to sit outside drawing and listening to them.
I walked alongside the river too, and there were so many people hanging out around there. It's infectious when everyone is in such a good mood. I'm so excited for the summer - already there's such a great atmosphere, and everyone seems so happy. I love how good weather does that to people.
I can't remember the last time everything felt so wonderful, so free, and so full of hope. I really couldn't be happier with how things have turned out for me, and I really feel now that the struggles have been worthwhile. I'm so glad I'm not missing out on all of these things, which so easily could have happened. Thankfully, things changed. Turku has a really amazing energy right now, that seems to have suddenly exploded out of nowhere. Things are so insular in winter, but everything seems to have opened up and become very inviting. All this and I'm going on holiday in a few days! What more could I ask for?
It's a shame I'll be missing May day here, but maybe something will be happening in Norway too.

Where was I at midnight?

Drinking Kulta Lonkero and sledding in the park!
I spent a couple of hours in the park, going down a hill with a sled/black bin bag. At first I was quite scared because it looked very fast, bumpy and scary, but ultimately I manned up. It was so much fun! The hill had a few bumps which were quite fun to go over, and we went down quite fast. The snow manages to get everywhere and freeze everything, such as sleeves and hair. I also got a lot of snow in my eyes.
I enjoyed it, and I probably would never have done it if I hadn't been here, and that makes me very glad that I am. I guess I was also having a very Finnish experience, seeing as this is something normal to do for both Finnish children and adults, but I had never done it before. In Plymouth you'd never really get the chance, but it's never come up in other places either. It really was a good night though, and a change from just going to a bar all the time. The downside was how frozen we ended up; it was extremely uncomfortable. Getting back inside and getting some warm clothes was such a relief. I'd definitely like to go sledding again though.

Snowy walk

I've been for a nice snowy walk in the park to clear my head up a bit. Again, it was the park with the amazing views of Turku. It snowed earlier today so a lot of the sludge has been replaced by real snow, which is obviously much prettier. It doesn't really feel that cold anymore, but I'm not sure exactly what the temperature is.
For some reason going to the park makes me feel a lot calmer. I think I need that at the moment though. It's so quiet there, you can just hear the hum of traffic but it's very gentle. You can see absolutely everything in Turku from there, as I pointed out here. Looking at the photos from that day it looks so different - green and lively. I wouldn't describe it as bleak now, but it's a lot plainer and seems emptier without the grass and leaves. Also I noticed in the park there's a random Russian flag. Why?
It really helped to go there and think about some things in peace - I feel like my life has become far too manic recently. I want that to change now. I really am glad that I'm here, even though sometimes I've wished I'd never come here. I know why I felt that way, and hopefully that can change now. More and more I'm thinking that after I've finished my degree I'll come back to live in Turku. By then I should be in a much better position to come here. This time I really didn't think it through, and I wasn't very prepared. I'm much better off now though, and I can't believe I've been here for almost 3 months, with only one week spent in England. If all goes well I have another 8 months to enjoy here. Sometimes I've wanted to run like hell away from here, but I think I'll be happy now.

Drawing

I've just been to Puolalamäen, once again, and did this sketch of the sculpture that is there. I'm not sure what it's meant to represent but it's of several figures holding each other, and I quite like it. It's on a hill in the park and sitting next to it, there are beautiful views going as far as the cathedral. Today it was snowy and sunny and it looked better than ever. I wish I'd taken my phone with me for photos. That park must be one of my favourite places in Turku; whenever I want to do something but have no real ideas it's a default destination. It's quiet and peaceful, and today I had a sense of wellbeing just from sitting there. I think the ink in my pen might have frozen a bit though...
Obviously it's very cold now, and Jussi very thoughtfully stole my gloves this morning! He has his own, so I have no idea why he also wants my girlie purple ones. I have another pair, if I could only find them again. So my hands and cheeks ended up completely numb, but it wasn't as bad as two nights ago when I needed some food and ventured into the blizzard. How Finnish people stand this weather I will never know.

Walking in the snow

Today I've had my first full-on snow experience here. I intended to go to a couple of small commercial galleries I've seen, and decided to walk through Puolalanmäen, the park near our house, just because I wanted to see it covered with snow. It's on a hill and has beautiful views. The park looked amazing, and so different when everything is pure white.
Ultimately I didn't actually go inside either gallery - the first one had some people inside and I felt a bit intimidated and moved on, and by the time I'd walked all the way down Yliopistonkatu to the next one I was very cold, the snow was getting heavier, and I'd much rather have been at home. Maybe some other day when it is quieter would be a better time to go to those places. Even so, it was nice to have a walk in the snow. I definitely feel like I'm in Finland now! I also learned that when the ground is covered in ice and snow I shouldn't be wearing shoes with holes in them. Probably should have worked that one out already...In my defence I wore them because they look really good with my purple legwarmers. Maybe I need to be a bit more practical this winter.
This is so different to anything I'm used to, it's still very exciting and special for me.

Project man up

We can safely say that Project man up is completed. Yesterday I went back to the park Jussi had taken me to in order to sketch and just relax. It was really quiet and calm, and again, it looked so pretty because of the leaves and trees everywhere. I did some sketches, photos of which are above this. My only problem was that it was so frigging cold. Sketching in Finland isn't always that easy, I was shaking as I was sitting there. When I had finished and was walking back to Market Square I was shivering the whole time. I really don't understand how people here cope with that.
Then it gets better. I needed to go the supermarket, which I did, alone and in Finnish. Then I went for a drink. Alone. I'd never do that in England but I think it's more acceptable here, I was one of many. Also a group of people were getting their drink on pretty heavily at 2pm. But anyway, that was all done in Finnish too, and I was also speaking Finnish when I went to a kioski on the way home to buy cigarettes. I was fine, and I've definitely worked out my way around some of the area. A week ago I really didn't think I could do all that, so I'm satisfied.
When I got home Jussi and I got pizza. Avoiding it didn't last long, but at least this was a proper pizza. I have to say Finnish pizza is disgusting. There were green olives, not black, far too many herbs, there was no dip, and they didn't even cut the bloody thing! Wtf? This was apparently the best pizza place here. Give me Dominos any day. Plus there was an annoying teenager there, who'd clearly dressed up as Axl Rose for the day, who could not stop turning around and staring every time I spoke (in English) to Jussi. When I said thank you to the guy at the counter in Finnish he had another good stare. Fuck off Axl Rose kid, you're a douche.
In the evening we went to Emma and Tommi's house to play some strange Finnish game that I didn't quite understand. But it was nice, and later we went to a couple of bars.
Unfortunately, in one of them, I was the target of some delightful racism. Some drunk guy in the smoking room started talking shit at me for speaking English to Jussi. I have enough stress and difficulty at the moment without that kind of thing, plus I was a bit drunk, so I shouted "I come to your fucking country and try my best to speak your ridiculous language and be polite here, but that's still not good enough for some people", and stomping back to the bar. On my way, and English man who'd been there with his Finnish partner, patted me on the back and said "Well said love". The English are rising up. I really don't need that kind of shit here. Most people are nice, I chatted to two random people yesterday who were very cheerful meeting me. It's just unecessary shit.
Apart from that, yesterday was a nice day. Today has mainly been spent sleeping, as I think we went to bed around 4.45am. Also, I had quite a hangover, not quite on Phil Collins level, but still not that nice. Apparently we're going to meet Emma and Tommi again in a couple of hours, I hope I can survive this much Finnish drinking.

Go to the park

My friends should know that I bloody love a good park. I like to sketch in them, I like to hang out with people in them, I like to sit and think in them, I like to chain smoke and cry in them...I'm quite keen. And today has been very park-orientated, so it's been a good one...
This afternoon Jussi took me to a different park on the other side of the river, I can't remember it's name but it's built up higher than the streets (Jussi thinks it might be the highest point in Turku), and it is where the astronomy building is. It was really really nice, there were loads of trees and fallen leaves - it was autumnal and beautiful. Because it was so high there were greats view of almost all of Turku. We could see our house too. It was so peaceful, which is important in a park. Also the bins were spray painted to look like monsters and said "Feed Me" on them! I took a lot of photos. I'd love to go back there to draw sometime, it was a really nice area and the view of the city was amazing.
Plus, this evening I went to the nearby park, on my own, to sketch. Jussi told me I need to be more adventurous, and I'm trying to man up anyway. Perhaps sketching on your own in the dark isn't the most intelligent choice, but never mind. It's adventurous. I wanted to draw the trees, and because the background was dark the drawings turned out quite abstract and distorted. It was pretty empty at this time, thankfully it's not too cold today so I didn't freeze whilst trying to draw.
It's really nice to have two beautiful spaces that close to me. One is less than a minute's walk away, the other is about five minutes away. I feel really lucky. I think I remember how to get to the other park, so I am adapting. I'm just nervous.

Man up day

Man up day didn't go exactly to plan. Sketching in the park fell through because I've managed to lose my keys. They're somewhere in this damn flat...
However, in the afternoon Jussi asked me to go to a kioski to get us some cigarettes. And I went, without complaining or begging him to go with me. I asked the lady in Finnish, and my only problem was having to ask her to repeat something in English, which turned out to be her asking me for ID, and the world did not cave down around me. Incidentally, this is the only foreign country I've ever been IDed in.
Even better than that, when we went to the supermarket this evening I got through the whole thing in Finnish, including correctly answering two bonus questions at the till! I guessed when she asked if Jussi and I were sharing a bag, and when she asked something else, which turned out to be asking if I had a loyalty card, I just repeated Jussi's previous answer, which was no. And I was right, I really don't have a loyalty card! Also the fruit machine thing is so extreme that even Jussi has started using one. He won a euro tonight. I also saw some in a department store yesterday, right next to the ladies clothes. What is Finland doing?
I realised, too, that I do know some places here, even if it's not much. There are definitely a few places I could get to on my own if necessary. Maybe yesterday was just a bad day and I was being negative, because today I feel better. And I've proved to myself that I can cope with buying something without needing Jussi to help. I think I need to be a bit more confident and stop panicking, because I managed fine today. I can get to the park, the art gallery, and market square, where the shops are, and I can manage to buy things. If I need to I can use English, it's just that I'd rather try to use Finnish as much as possible. I shouldn't act like speaking English in public is the end of the world.
Tomorrow it's a week since I came here. Maybe it'll finally start to sink in that this is where I live now. It's still so new, it feels like a holiday.

Urgh part 2...and cute animal stories!

Animal story 1: I saw a dog take a piss on a hospital. But he was wearing a flourescent yellow doggy coat with a paw print on it! Eeek!
Animal story 2: When we were walking in the park this evening I saw a wild hare run across the path.

Still feeling a bit rubbish. I wonder if I'm just not making enough effort, whether I'm being unreasonable to expect Jussi to babysit me all the time. He encourages me to do things for myself, but I'm scared and embarrassed all the time, so I only want to go out if he is with me. Maybe I need to man up a bit. I have to learn somehow.
Tomorrow he has a job interview so I think whilst he is out I'm going to do something/go somewhere on my own. Even if it's just going to the park to sketch, at least then I'm doing something on my own and not being so reliant on him. Maybe a baby step like that will make me feel braver and it won't be such a big deal when I need to go to a shop or do something that involves speaking to another person. I can't stay this clingy and scared, because what will I do when he does get a job? I can't just stay indoors all day until he comes home. Tomorrow is going to be man up day. A nice trip to the park isn't scary. Unless the hare tries to kill me...