Thank God for the weekend

As I said previously, this has not been the best week ever, but I think the weekend is going to be a big improvement and at least mean it ends well.
Last night I went with two of my flatmates, Heli and Iida, to one of the riverboat bars in Turku. We only had one drink, but it was fun because I've never been on one of them before. They are really popular, and it actually took a very long time for us to find a boat with space available. There was a really nice atmosphere around the river because lots of people were there on the banks drinking. It was good for us to do something pleasant after spending all week dealing the with stealing.
I think that today will also be a really enjoyable day. Iida works as a chef, and today she's making me an early birthday strawberry pie! She would have done it next week but she'll be working all weekend, but today we can do it together. It's a lovely thought and I'm looking forward to it very much. Then if I can scrape some money together we can all go out again tonight. Iida and Heli are encouraging me to do this by collecting empty drinks cans and recycling them...
One unfortunate piece of news though is that I now have a flight back to England booked for the 5th of September. That, very sadly, will be the end of my time in Finland, for now at least. I'm a bit upset, but I knew this time would come eventually, and I know it's better to finish the last year of university. It's just hard to leave when I love Turku and love how my life has turned out here. This really has been a crazy, wonderful experience.
My mother booked the flight for me, and the most tragic part of it all as that she sent me an email asking me for my passport number and my name! My own mother!

This week so far

It's been a very hot, sunny week in Turku so far. My enthusiasm for being here is back, so maybe bad weather was the problem. I've been out today putting english/art tutor adverts in supermarkets, and it's disgustingly hot and sticky. As stupid as it may sound, it never occured to me that it would get this hot in Finland. Of course, there are hippies everywhere, wandering around and playing music in the street. It makes for a really great atmosphere. I feel like I'm somewhere a bit more exotic than Finland.
This week I've been reminded of how much Finland likes to get the flag out - they were on the flagpoles for the past two days. Sunday was Mother's Day, but I'm not sure what the reason was yesterday. In my country the flag doesn't come out so much. I think it's quite nice to walk down the street and see them everywhere. It can be a shock sometimes to go outside and suddenly be surrounded by lots of flags. I've also been told that when someone dies the flag on their building is often put up at half mast as a sign of respect, and I have seen that a couple of times.
However, the most exciting and important thing this week - I have a job interview on Thursday! I'm so pleased, and I'm very determined and motivated to get the job. I just had a phone call about it, and I have an interview and trial period in the morning. It's at an English language pre-school, and I'd really love to get that job. Luckily, my lovely mother works as a primary school teacher, so hopefully she can give me some professional advice on dealing with large volumes of small children. When I called my parents to see if she was at home my father's advice extended to "try not to kill them." It would be so great to have a proper, sensible job and be more secure. I'm determined to make myself absolutely perfect for the position. I'm even happy to sell out a bit and adapt my appearance, seeing as that's not as conventional as it could be, and frightening the lovely children definitely won't make me seem like Mary Poppins. This means tattoos will be covered, hair, shoes and clothes will be sensible, and I need to somehow get my lip piercing out, which right now is proving difficult. On Thursday I will boggle everyone with my brilliance. If that fails, I'll just baffle them with my bullshit.

The beginning of the end

Kela won't help me. Unless I find a job in the next few weeks I think it's all over. I'll do any work, I don't care. The idea of going home is hell. It's the last thing I want. I have a nice place to live, I have good friends, and I like things just the way they are. Going back to live with my parents would be the biggest anti-climax I could imagine, it's so unpleasant to me that I can scarcely accept it. It's not them, it's the fact that I've been independent for almost four years and I hate the city they live in. I'd do anything to avoid it.
I've applied to the tourist place, and to a souvenir shop near to my house, other people are trying to come up with ideas for me, and I'm willing to do just about anything. I don't need the best paid job on the planet, just enough to pay my rent and keep me where I want to be. I'm in a constant state of panic right now. I'll take any bullshit cleaning job, looking after kids, wiping an incontinent old woman's arse - it really doesn't matter. Selling paintings doesn't make enough money; I get some extra cash out of it but I can't pay my rent with it. If anyone knows of any solid opportunities, please tell me. I'm pretty desperate right now. I can't cope with the idea of leaving.

Moving forward

I'm currently looking into finding my own place to live, which would be really nice to have, but it looks like for a few days I'll be staying in a hostel or hotel, because someone (haha guess who) is making things difficult again. I realise a lot of people will think it's ridiculous, and I have questioned why I'm prepared to go through so much hassle to stay here. I'm sure that if my mother knew about all of this she'd be dragging me back to England herself, and I expect a few other people would share the sentiment. I know why I'm doing this. For a long time I've had my entire life controlled by another person, someone who even admits that I deserve better, and yet makes no attempt to change. So although it might be easier to just leave I'm feeling too defiant to do that. Some of my friends would rather I came home, my father has been of that opinion since day one, and a couple of times I've even wondered what the hell I'm thinking. I'm angry, and I'm refusing to let anyone tell me what is best for me. I've had 18 months of being told what was best for me, but it was never my best interests at heart. I'm going to do exactly what I want, even if it's more difficult, expensive, or risky. I just don't care.
Coming here in the first place was a risk, but obviously I had no idea that things would turn out in such an unfortunate way. Now I want to be here, and the fact that a couple of people want me to come home, even though I'm sure their opinions are based on concern for me and nothing else, makes me more determined and defiant. Also, the easiest way is not necessarily the best way. I'd rather be happy, and ending up living with my parents until autumn would not make me happy. I'd be fucking miserable. This is where I want to be, not forever, but for now at least. I came here, and it doesn't matter why, when or how, what matters to me is that I should get something out of this experience. It's a huge opportunity, and why would I give that up to go work a bullshit temporary job in England? There's so much I want to do. I want to conquer this language one way or another, I want to go to Norway to visit one of my friends who's studying in Bergen for a year, I want to go to Muumimaailma, I want to go to Stockholm, I want to see some other places in Finland...there's a lot of things that would be worth staying for.
Someone told me that if they'd had to put up with the crap I've experienced in the past few months they would have run home crying to their mother long ago. This was not said in a disrespectful way - I think they were trying to say that I was strong for getting through it. I don't think that at all, I think I'm too stubborn for my own good sometimes, and that's the only reason why I haven't done the same thing. Being stubborn and determined is the root of this. Why the hell should I give up just because things didn't go exactly to plan? Plus it's about time I got to do something purely for myself, and not allow anyone else's thoughts to sway me. The time to leave is when I feel ready to and I genuinely want to, not when someone else tells me I should. I'm a bit scared, but that doesn't mean I should give up. The inconvenience of it all annoys me, but hell, life is pretty inconvenient at times. I'm used to inconvenience. I don't expect everyone to agree with me on this but I hope that my friends continue to support and encourage me.
I'm sorry, I'm exhausted, angry and I've had too many bottles of ED.

In England

I'm in Plymouth, after a very delayed flight last night which was filled with screaming kids. Easyjet is always filled with very loud Finnish families. My dad drove all night from Gatwick and got here at 5am. So that worked out to about 15 hours of travel for me. Great... Strangely I enjoyed the bus trip from Turku to Helsinki-Vantaa, it was quite nice to see lots of countryside, it was just the flight and the long wait in the airport that was annoying.
It's strange to be back, in some ways I'd rather be in Turku but there are some nicer things here, such as being able to understand everything and not falling over every time I walk down the street. Now it feels really warm to me, even though other people are complaining of how cold the weather is. I've already purchased a lot of trashy magazines and food; my parents seem to want to fatten me up because today they took me to two different supermarkets to buy vegetarian food.
I won't have much to say this week seeing as I'm in England, but I'll be back next week. It'll probably do me good to have a little rest and hang out with my cat.

A Finnish Christmas

I've had such a lovely day with my Finnish family. We went in the morning to see the declaration of peace, which is some guy reading some stuff in Finnish and Swedish, and then the national anthem playing. I didn't understand it, but lots of people were there, and it was quite nice to be in a crowd, it made me feel more christmassy. I even saw a dog wearing socks! I wasn't feeling too festive when I woke up this morning but that got me more into the mood because there seemed to be so much happiness and goodwill.
After that we just hung out and Tommi dressed up as Santa to visit Emma's neices, who apparently were a bit scared and shy, although I thought he was very convincing. I remember I was always scared of Santa when I was very young, and these children are only aged three and five. I'm sure they were pleased to get their presents though.
Once they were back home we started getting our Christmas meal ready. Emma's friend Katri was also with us, and she'd done most of the cooking. I'm going to have to describe the meal very well, it's so different to the Christmas food I'm used to having in my own country, but I enjoyed it very much.
First we had a salad course (the bottom picture.) Emma and Katri had apparently planned to keep it small and simple, but things got out of hand somewhere along the line. There was a great deal of food:
Mixed salad
Mushroom salad
Cod roe (not for me)
Salmon (again, not for me)
Herring (Again...)
Pickled onions
Finnish cheese
Boiled potatoes
Beetroot
Eggs
Olives
Bread
Onions
Cream (For some reasons, the Finns put whipped cream with beetroot. It wasn't that bad though.)

I think we overate seeing as it was all so tasty and there was so much to eat. We could barely manage the main course, which was:
Karelian pies and egg butter
Meatballs, made by Tommi
Vegetable balls for me
Porkkanalaatikko (Carrot casserole)
Lanttu (Turnip casserole)
Peruna (Potato casserole)

All the vegetable dishes were made by Katri and were really enjoyable. The usual meat is ham, but Emma never ate it as a child and had meatballs instead, which is why that's what was made for our little family. The food was so different to the English roast my mother usually makes, and this is the first Christmas I've spent away from my family, so it was a really new experience. After our meal we just hung out and drank; also we had a very civilised cheese and crackers course in the evening. I spoke to my parents too, which was really nice, and they are apparently having Turducken tomorrow. (Turkey stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with a duck!) I guess they thought that as the family vegetarian was out of the country they should go crazy with meat! the Finns laughed their arses off when I told them this, my dad was very confused about why they found it so funny! I usually have nut roast along with the potatoes and vegetables, but my dad certainly seemed to be looking forward to his lunch. It got a bit emotional with my dad telling me how proud he is that I've been making it here, despite things going a bit wrong for me. Being away from them at this time has made me miss them a lot more.
It's been so nice to see what Christmas is like in another country, although I still can't get my head around it being a day earlier. I've had a really lovely day, full of food and friends, and I don't think I'd have it any other way.
I hope everyone else has/had a lovely day, whoever you're with, wherever you are and whatever you're doing. I'm really grateful for the food and hospitality, and if everyone has as nice a time as I've had they should be very happy. Merry Christmas everyone!

Finland makes me angry

Grr. Finland is being naughty.
I need to see a GP and get some medication, which I've been taking since May, but because the police won't give me a social security number it's gonna cost about 200 euros apparently. Which is just peachy because it means I have to beg my poor mother for money, and she's given me a ridiculous amount lately, and quite rightly told me she can't keep bailing me out. I don't blame her for having that attitude, and she hasn't had to do it this much until now. I really hope she'll make an exception for medical bills - if she doesn't I don't know how I can pay for it, and the medication isn't really something I can go without.
I love this country but sometimes I'd like to find Tarja Halonen, or whoever else is making the rules, and throttle them. I realise I'm not much of an asset to the country but I wish they'd give me a fucking break. Jussi hasn't been paid yet, and I'm sure that once we have a steady income things will work out better, but I'm getting stressed at the moment.
Right now I have a parcel from my lovely Becky to look forward to, which will contain some English things. She just told me it's packed and ready to be taken to the post office. I don't know what she's bought for me, but I asked for salt and vinegar crisps and magazines, which I'll be very pleased with if I get them. Most of all I wanted English energy drinks but she found out she's not allowed to send liquids. I'll manage though, I've taken quite a liking to Battery energy drink. I'm actually very excited to be getting this parcel, I hope the shipping doesn't take ages. Plus I've been chatting to a few different friends about the prospect of them coming to visit in the next few months, once student loans have made it more feasible, and that would also be super exciting.
I hope I calm down and that all the crap gets worked out in the next few days. I suppose some hiccups and unpleasant surprises are unavoidable when you launch yourself into a new country, but it's so annoying when I think about how much more straightforward it would all be in England.

Bad Nokia

I just had an amusing phone call with my Dad...Finnish sim cards and my iPhone don't seem keen on each other, so at the moment I'm using a number of old Nokias. The one I'm currently using likes to cut out during phone calls, leading to much long-distance frustration. He sounds a bit more enthusiatic and interested when he talks to me now, but still doesn't seem too pleased that I'm here. At least he was impressed that I've been to the art gallery and applied for a job.
I've applied to clean the ferries to Stockholm when they are in the harbour in Turku. It's not amazing, but a job's a job. I can't really be picky in this country. I only need to do it for a month or two, once I have it I immediately get a social security number, and when I quit I can get benefits and a language course!
Other than that, the past few days have been hard. Some people already know about it, and it's not something I really want to talk about anymore.

"Bear patiently my heart, for you have suffered heavier things" - Homer

Day one...

By popular demand, here is a blog about my time as a Johnny Foreigner in Finland! So here I am, sitting on a lovely green rug in my new flat. to be honest, it's so cold outside that I don't want to leave the house. Unfortunately, Jussi (my delightful boyfriend) is very insistent that I should explore. Hmm.
I got here at about 1am this morning. My journey was a complete nightmare. All was going fairly well until I got to Gatwick, where it transpired I'd bought a plane ticket for the day before! There were 3 seats left on the plane so I managed to get one, whilst putting a lovely £260 dent in my credit card. Which I have no idea how I'll repay. Fuck you easyjet. I rushed back to check in with my new ticket, and then discovered that my luggage was 24kg over my baggage allowance! And to take said luggage with me would cost another £230...
Then my credit card got declined. I did very well resisting the urge to cry. Not so well resisting the urge to shout "Fuuuuuck!" However, I called my beautiful, brilliant, perfect mother, who paid the extra money over the phone, got myself checked in and rushed off to security, paranoid that I wouldn't get to the gate in time.
Thankfully, after that the journey went very smoothly. Aside from the fact that the flight was filled almost entirely with Finnish families, complete with their out of control, screaming little darlings. But I survived, found Jussi at Helsinki-Vantaa and we went for a drink by the train station.
Then we were faced with a 2 hour train journey to get to Turku. And for some ridiculous reason, Finnish trains have no luggage racks! Which is very frustrating when you've spent all day carrying around 44kg of crap. I was getting tired and snappy, and hadn't actually eaten all day.
We arrived in Turku after 1am, it was 0 degrees, and it would be an understatement to say that my mood was flagging. We dropped the suitcases off in our new flat and wandered into the night again in search of food. This is where it gets interesting.
We found a kioski (a burger stand) and Jussi bought some crazy chips, deep fried with chunks of sausages! Apparently that's very normal. It was far too meaty for me but I found it fascinating. I just had normal chips, and even those were covered in salad and sauces. I think I'll like Finnish chips...
Eventually I got to bed, and today I had a slightly strange trip to the supermarket. It might become a problem that I don't understand what most of the food is...