Moving forward

I'm currently looking into finding my own place to live, which would be really nice to have, but it looks like for a few days I'll be staying in a hostel or hotel, because someone (haha guess who) is making things difficult again. I realise a lot of people will think it's ridiculous, and I have questioned why I'm prepared to go through so much hassle to stay here. I'm sure that if my mother knew about all of this she'd be dragging me back to England herself, and I expect a few other people would share the sentiment. I know why I'm doing this. For a long time I've had my entire life controlled by another person, someone who even admits that I deserve better, and yet makes no attempt to change. So although it might be easier to just leave I'm feeling too defiant to do that. Some of my friends would rather I came home, my father has been of that opinion since day one, and a couple of times I've even wondered what the hell I'm thinking. I'm angry, and I'm refusing to let anyone tell me what is best for me. I've had 18 months of being told what was best for me, but it was never my best interests at heart. I'm going to do exactly what I want, even if it's more difficult, expensive, or risky. I just don't care.
Coming here in the first place was a risk, but obviously I had no idea that things would turn out in such an unfortunate way. Now I want to be here, and the fact that a couple of people want me to come home, even though I'm sure their opinions are based on concern for me and nothing else, makes me more determined and defiant. Also, the easiest way is not necessarily the best way. I'd rather be happy, and ending up living with my parents until autumn would not make me happy. I'd be fucking miserable. This is where I want to be, not forever, but for now at least. I came here, and it doesn't matter why, when or how, what matters to me is that I should get something out of this experience. It's a huge opportunity, and why would I give that up to go work a bullshit temporary job in England? There's so much I want to do. I want to conquer this language one way or another, I want to go to Norway to visit one of my friends who's studying in Bergen for a year, I want to go to Muumimaailma, I want to go to Stockholm, I want to see some other places in Finland...there's a lot of things that would be worth staying for.
Someone told me that if they'd had to put up with the crap I've experienced in the past few months they would have run home crying to their mother long ago. This was not said in a disrespectful way - I think they were trying to say that I was strong for getting through it. I don't think that at all, I think I'm too stubborn for my own good sometimes, and that's the only reason why I haven't done the same thing. Being stubborn and determined is the root of this. Why the hell should I give up just because things didn't go exactly to plan? Plus it's about time I got to do something purely for myself, and not allow anyone else's thoughts to sway me. The time to leave is when I feel ready to and I genuinely want to, not when someone else tells me I should. I'm a bit scared, but that doesn't mean I should give up. The inconvenience of it all annoys me, but hell, life is pretty inconvenient at times. I'm used to inconvenience. I don't expect everyone to agree with me on this but I hope that my friends continue to support and encourage me.
I'm sorry, I'm exhausted, angry and I've had too many bottles of ED.